Lithium
by stephxnie
Summary: AU: What about Happily Ever After?  Life and love were never easy. They were both hell holes, with no way out. HP/OC T for lang, concept. Lyrics belong to Evanescence; Lithium


DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry or Hogwarts Or the lake. Just Lexi, her mother, and her sister.

Time for a ad one ladies ands germs.

Hope you like it! I think its pretty deep.

* * *

She was curled into a ball in the armchair. Her face was red and puffy. Her messy ponytail was askew. Her makeup was smeared all over her cheeks and eye lids. She was wearing a light blue tank top, and blue sweats. She leaned her back on the armchair, her knees were brought up against her chest, and she hand on hand on her head, holding it up, and a tissue in hand. Her body, covered in bruises.

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside_

The pain. The pain was too much. She loved him. Too much. Too many times he yelled at her. Too many times he hurt her. Too many times he gave her flowers and teddy bears, begging for forgiveness. Too many times she forgave him. Stuck in the abusive relationship with Harry Potter, was a living hell. She loved him. She has for years. But since their Seventh year at Hogwarts, no love was shown in his eyes for her.

_Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without_

Their most cherished memories together were long forgotten and shattered. She had known Harry for years. They were truly in love. Or were they? The times he had hit, smacked, and punched her, they seemed like pure enemies. She never fought back. She didn't want to lose him. Because she loved him. She knew that Harry was under constant pressure for finding the Horcruxes. She knew that Voldemort was invading his mind, making him do things that the normal Harry would never do. Ever. She wanted so badly for the pain to stop. For the War to just pass.

_Lithium, I wanna stay in love with my sorrow_

She never told anyone. She didn't want to lose him. She knew that she would lose him forever if she told. For months, she hid the bruises, and practically mastered the healing charms, and was crying all day, all night. But she knew that she had to stay with him. She loved him. She needed to be there for him for support. She wasn't going to leave him any time soon. She made up her mind. She kept telling herself that Harry would turn back to normal, that God was testing her love, patience, and trust. Every time her mind wandered to telling herself to leave Harry while she was still alive. But she just couldn't.

_Oh, but God I wanna let it go_

He said he loved her. Every day. Even after their fights. She picked herself off the armchair, and decided to face him again. She quickly gathered up all the Gryffindor courage she had left in her and walked out of the room. Harry was sitting at the dining room table. When he saw her, he got up and walked toward her. She stayed frozen.

'Lexi, I'm so sorry babe.' He hugged her and she hugged back. She buried her head in his shoulder.

'I love you.' She replied. She truly did.

'I love you too Lex.' He kissed her cheek, making her flinch slightly. He slowly pulled away from her.

'I'm going to bed.' Was all she said, still standing in the spot where she entered. She then slowly walked upstairs. When she reached the top, she walked to the next room. She laid on her side, and pulled the covers over her. Why the hell was it so easy to forgive him? He hurt her too much. Why did she give in? why the HELL was she so weak? She pondered thoughts in her head. He loves me. He loves me, and he doesn't mean to hurt me. He loves me… did he? 'NO!' she thought to herself. She mustn't lose faith in him. She has to keep him. She needed his love.

_Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone  
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show_

She couldn't think. He still wasn't coming to bed. She couldn't sleep. She got out of bed and walked to the balcony. She let her mind wander. Thinking about Ron, and Hermione. The Weasley twins, smiling slightly as she thought of the kooky duo that always made her laugh. Thought about her baby sister. Was she safe with her mother? Where they hiding like Lexi asked them? She sighed as she brought her hand up to her neck, and rubbed the side, massaging a bad bruise. Was it worth it? Harry had beaten her senseless so many times, she lost count. Seemed like every other night or two she was being beaten. By her love. But she loved him too much to let him go. Why did loving someone be so hard? Why couldn't it be like the sappy Muggle movies? What about Happily Ever After? Was it just told to little girls, so they don't learn brace themselves to grow up in a world filled with pain, and sorrow? Was it a lie? 'Of course it is.' She thought. Life and love were never easy. They were both hell holes, with no way out.

_Never wanted it to be so cold  
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me_

She walked back to the room, to fetch her wand. She used the healing charm on her body, quickly reliving the pain. She couldn't sleep. She never could anymore. She changed into a fresh t-shirt and jeans, and washed the makeup off her face. She scribbled a note to Harry, explaining that she would be visiting her mother and sister, and Apparated to her mother's flat. Her mother was in the kitchen. She heard the memorable crack, and turned around, rushing to Lexi.

'Oh Lexi dear! I missed you sweetheart.' She hugged her mother tight. She missed her.

'I missed you too mum. Where's April?' she asked, pulling away.

'She's in her room. Go and say hi. Ill set some tea.' Her mother smiled, and disappeared into the kitchen again. As Lexi approached Aprils room, she heard her giggling. April was only eight years old. She was thin, had dark brown hair that reached her waist, and deep blue eyes. But of course that changed from time to time, seeing as how April was a Metamorphmagus. She entered the room slowly.

'Lexi!' she yelled and ran to her older sister, bringing her in a tight hug.

'Hey April.' She hugged back.

'I missed you. I haven't seen you in a long time!' she pulled away.

'I'm sorry April. I've been busy.' I replied.

'Why is your face red?' she asked, cocking her head to the side.

'Oh umm…because I painted it red, but it didn't all wash off.' She quickly came up with an excuse.

'Oh. I do that all the time. Only it makes mummy mad.' She giggled.

'Lexi! Tea is ready!' Lexi kissed her sister, and headed back to the living room.

'So Lexi! How's Harry?' her mother didn't know about the Horcrux search. She couldn't let her know.

'Oh he's been good.' She replied. She took off her coat and laid it down at her side. She picked up her tea and sipped it.

'Oh my god Lexi! What's on your arm?' her mother practically yelled. Lexi looked at her arm, as her mother looked at it. A huge, purple and black bruise was on it. _'SHIT! I missed one.'_ Lexi thought.

'Oh I don't know mum.' She lied. 'I must have run into something.' She laughed nervously. Her mother sighed, picked up her wand muttering the healing spell, and gave Lexi the 'I know your lying' look.

'Lexi, what happened? You don't just run into something, and get a whopping bruise like that.' Her mother looked worried.

'Mum. It's nothing.' Lexi smiled and grabbed her mother's hand.

'I Feel like your hiding something from me Lexi.'

'Mum. Stop. I'm not I promise.' She lied. It ripped her heart to be lying to her mum. But she had to. For Harry's sake.

'You promise?' Lexi hesitated, but not too much where her mother knew something was up.

'Promise.' After about 45 minutes of catching up, Lexi decided to leave. She didn't want to make Harry mad. She bid her goodbyes to April and her mum and Apparated back to her flat. She looked in the bedroom, and Harry wasn't there still. She changed back into her night clothes, and walked downstairs. She saw him sitting on the couch.

'Harry. Do you want to go to bed? It's getting a little late.' She asked from behind him.

'Shit Lexi do you know how worried I was when you weren't there?' Lexi flinched. She knew what was coming up.

'I left you a note.' She lightly said.

'But how do I know that wasn't a fake? You scared me a lot Lexi!' he moved closer to her. He adjusted his neck, and moved closer to her His eyes turned red. She shuddered, bracing herself.

'But I haven't seen my mother in a while Harry.' She said.

'I don't care! You need to tell me! I get worried about these things!'

'But you never let me see them!' she yelled. Her anger was overpowering her.

'Because I don't want anything to happen to you!' he grabbed her shoulders.

'Harry! You need to stop worrying all the time! I'm perfectly fine taking care of myself!' She gulped.

_I can't hold on to me  
Wonder what's wrong with me?_

She ran to the bathroom at top speed while she had the chance. She locked the door behind her.

'COME OUT OF THERE LEXI! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!' Harry banged on the door. Lexi looked in the mirror. The picture of a pale, bruised, cut, beaten girl with a puffy red face, and messy hair stared at her. She continued crying.

'LEXI! GET OUT OF THERE!' she knew there wasn't much time. Harry could use Alohamora, and she Apparated to a random place. She opened her eyes, to find herself at the edge of the Black Lake, at Hogwarts. She sank to the trunk of a tree, and cried. She was in so much pain. She didn't have her wand, she couldn't use the healing spells, and she didn't know how to use wandless magic. She stared at her practically blue and black arms. How could she let him do this to her? How could she let herself be the bait of a cruel game? She face was bleeding, her arm was pulsating with pain, and her legs went numb. She stared at the cuts on her arm. She glided her finger over a cut, and asked herself 'Why? Why me? Why did I fall in love for someone who hurts me?' She voiced her questions.

She left so empty.

She felt so disposable.

She felt so _weak._

Like a rag doll, to be tossed around, thrown in mud, and ripped apart. She knew she got herself into this. She knew that there was no way out. If she did leave Harry, she would miss him. She loves him. But why? Why did she still love him? No normal person would have gotten themselves this deep in a mess as big and hopeless as this. But she knew. She knew that this wasn't Harry. She knew that Voldemort was only toying with him. She knew that he was truly sorry for her pain and that he didn't mean any of it. Or at least she liked to think it. Hell, it was a perfect excuse. Voldemort was taking over Harry and doing this to her. It was gold. She let herself believe it for a long time. She wondered if Harry knew he was being controlled by the most evil wizard in history. Did he know that he was causing her so much pain? Did he know that he was the bane of her existence? Did he know that she loved him? She sighed and got up to her feet, trying not to stumble. She waded in the lake. It was fucking freezing. Her feet were surly turning into icicles. But hell, if it got rid of the pain in her head, arms, legs, and stomach, she would stay in that lake forever. She put her arm on her hip, and her other arm on that same side. She sighed. And looked at the stars. She felt tears and blood trickle down her face. They slowly made their presence, gliding down her soft cheek. She caught the mixture of blood and tear. It was a light red. Lexi let it fall in the lake. She walked around the edge of the lake, debating whether to go for a 'swim and accidentally drown' or not. She couldn't, even though she desperately wanted to. She couldn't leave her mother, sister, and Harry. She knew that she couldn't. It would be taking the easy way out. She walked under a tree, laid down, and closed her eyes, dreaming of a happier place. She fell asleep on the cold grass, as she dreamed of a life, where Harry loved her, and everything was alright.

_Lithium, don't wanna lock me up inside  
Lithium, don't wanna forget how it feels without  
Lithium, stay in love with mmm  
I'm gonna let it go_

xXx

* * *

Aww! What do you think? I Cried whilst writting this.

Reviews are awesome guys! Thank you! Love you all!

xoxo

'Spencer'

Reviews are awesome guys!


End file.
